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The social war

my thoughts on the ongoing social war.

We made it through the discussion of the physical war. But I am not done, we still have got the social war to open our perspectives to. You have probably already seen it, heard it and probably even felt it a hundred times. The quotes “Be yourself” “Don’t compare yourself to people on social media” “Don’t be jealous, your succes will come in your own time” and eventhough we want to believe them, we’ve all shared an eyeroll or two when we hear yet another motivational speaker talk about it.

And yes, this too is a war. We all try to be better than the rest and we even like the competition, but only as long as we’re in the game. We’ve all felt jealous of that gorgeous Victoria’s Secret model, living in Bali and making money with wearing a coconut bikini. And because of that, we scroll through their pages, hoping to find a photo of her with a pimple, or with tanlines or whatever. And when we finally find that imperfection, we can’t f*king wait to comment it under her photo. How much would the social game change if we unanimously decided to get inspired by other people? If we stoped hoping for that bikinimodel to fail and started hoping for her to make it.

I KNOW, eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll. I am not trying to paint a perfect picture here. But how would you feel? If you see that pimple, and eventhough you feel jealous and want to point her imperfection out. If you instead would comment or send her a message about how inspiring you think she is, how you admire her lifestyle and if she maybe could give you some tips?

Because you won’t be focussing on the negative, eventhough your feelings may be negative, your actions are positive and so will you feel. AND if she does give you those tips, you may actually find yourself creating that life you’re dreaming about!

Focussing on the negative and jealousy, can really harm our mental health. You may not notice it right away, but through time you’ll see. I admit, I also tend to downtalk myself whenever I see someone who I FEEL LIKE is better than me. I put “i feel like” in capslock because this is not true. Just because someone has a fitter physique than me, does not mean that they are more worth, are a better person, or are less flawed, than me.

The next thing I wanted to talk about, is not just downtalking yourself TO yourself, but downtalking yourself towards others. This is something I notice all around me. In this day and age we are afraid to “try to hard” or let other people know we care too much. So, when we try something new, we are tempted to say “I am really bad at this” or “I will probably fail hahahaha.” But I actually don’t think it is that funny. You are allowed to feel confident and to trust yourself and your capabilities. Being proud at yourself does not make you a bitch and trying and failing does not make you weak. 

The social war is one everyone sees, meets and knows. But when are we starting to do something about it. Mental health is a serious issue and is just as important as your physical health. So, I hope you’ll think twice next time you start to doubt yourself because of someone elses fake reality.

I wish you all the stars,

N.

 

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